Friday, March 4, 2011

Chapter 6: Never Compromise Form

Apologies for the lack of blog in the last while, for there is, and will be for another month or so, the looming threat of a dissertation deadline to meet. Sad times. Anyway, never fear, because today I'm going to go away from the main thrust of the Yes Man generally and tell you a quick one. I’m going to tell the story of how one man and his patter unwittingly helped me through my most difficult of times. How one man, one stacked black machine, transformed my view on aerobics videos (weren’t expecting that were you?). That man’s name is Shaun T.

If you are of a similar disposition to myself, you will probably think that exercise videos are a load of garbage. Imagine spending your hard-earned wage on a DVD, only to get home and see Coleen Rooney or that munter that used to be in Eastenders who got ridiculously thin (obviously got her stomach stapled) bounce about on a ball and tell you what to do. Such things make the best of people physically sick.

This was my view exactly. I much preferred to do my own workout at the gym, at my own pace, in my own time. That is, until one day when Shitebag (who else?) phoned me with another ridiculous offer:

"What's happening?"
"Not much mate, just thought I'd ask you if you fancied doing this new workout video thing I'm doing?"
"Fuck off. I'd rather die."
"Nah seriously, it's well gid - it's called Insanity"
My ears pricked up.
"It's called insanity? Really?"
"Is it insane?"
"Does it have Natalie Cassidy in it?"
"Go on then, might as well..."

And so, with much apprehension I made my way round to Shitebag's bit to 'get insane'. You see, Shitebag was not happy with the way he looked anymore, he was wanting to lose weight and gain muscle without having to actually leave his flat (seems illogical I know). This is when he came across Insanity - a max interval cardio workout of 45 minutes a day, 6 times a week for 1 month, then an hour a day for the second month. I, on the other hand, was doing it strictly for the banter - little did I know how much that would prove to be true.

The patter is ridiculous from the start. Shaun T asks you to jog 'like you holding potato chips in ya hand', to 'never compromise form for speed' and to 'get the butt down, 'cause he ain't playing!' Totally over-Americanized pish right? Right. That would be fair to say if the workout was rubbish. At the end of that first 45 minutes, I was sweating from places I didn't know it was possible to sweat. I still to this day do it, and have tried it out on my brother and various others who claim it is 'the hardest workout they've ever done'. Shitebag and I have since decided to use some of Shaun T's banter outside of Insanity to see if it could be applied to the everyday. Needless to say, 'Never...ever.....EH-EH-EVVVER compromise form!' and the associated squat was an overnight success story, and we took it far and wide to spread the message.

His banter is horrific, yes, the workout is crazy, yes, but there's something about it that makes you want to, as he puts it, 'dig deeper' - to push yourself further than you think you can possibly go. I realise that to all you macho hip dudes, who 'prefer to sculpt their guns in the gym' this probably sounds like the worst/gayest/stupidest thing you have ever heard. I get it. I would have said the same. It was only through yes that I started doing this, and I still to this day do. Exercise has been proven to be good for the mind and is a good way to release stress etc, and with Insanity this has almost certainly given me both in abundance.

In short, all I would say is don't knock it until you've tried it. If you try it and still don't like it, fair enough, it might not be your thing, but it wasn't mine either. 

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD IT FREE. No equipment needed - just you, your willpower and a Natalie Cassidy voodoo doll.